Visiting Home

October 22, 2022

Blog. Blog. Blogging. It's always hard to jump in. It feels like it would get easier with consistency, but I can never manage consistency. ^_^ That's kinda the most consistent thing about me.

I finally jumped back to my real body again last night after really not for way, way too long. Heh, that consistency thing again. Okay, there's two branching paths here, which might be mutually exclusive to talk about in one go: 1) What I did/talked about last night bleeding into this morning, 2) Backstory of what I'm even talking about and how it all works as far as I know. But also they're nested topics, and what Shads and I talked about was linked to how it works, sooo. Yeah.

Okay. Things got crazy at work and I lost the flow a bit, but gonna try to jump back in.

It's been a long time since I've been, heh, consistent about Going Home, or even wandering around as my real self--which for me takes the shape of daydreaming. Yes, I could be wrong, no, I don't care, and no, I'm not taking notes at this time. It's hurting no one, or if it hurts anyone, that's just me. So I refute the idea that it's delusional and therefore somehow morally wrong.

So, I was wandering a bit last night, and Shadow caught up to me. As you do. And as usual I was a bit in trouble for not being around the way I'm supposed to. But, because my Shadow is lovely, "In trouble" more in the way that, "I'm concerned about you," not, "You are such a fuck up." I am but a simple lad. These are the things I desire.

Sooo, yeah. We talked about that a little bit, and some of the things that have been bothering me here (things that will never resolve, like my dysphoria, and things like how my cat has kidney disease and I'm sad and can't do anything more than what I'm already doing about it) and I stopped him, because doing a huge, unending dump about all that shit is part of, I think, one of the reasons it's been so hard to go Home for so long. Not the only reason, but A Big One.