Dying Horses
Monday, October 7, 2024 - 7:10 PM
At work our horses have been dying. It's hopefully stopped now, but it still feels like nothing's been done. I want to buy my favorite, and part of that is that I don't trust him to stay safe. Or alive. But I can't. I want to so badly. I want him so badly. And I can't save him. Couldn't save Gabe, either.
Gabe was a 3-year old appy colt. Sweet as hell, and in the batch of horses we rented for the summer and camp season. And I fell hard for him. He was a young boy, and so, so willing. He had such an amazing mind on him, he ended up being used for our 8-9 year old group of riders. I knew I couldn't afford him, not this year, but sometimes our summer crop of horses cycle back. I had images of getting him in a couple years as a personal horse I could teach private students on. Teach my partners on. And then he started colicing.
I wasn't working camp that week. I'm told he tried to lay down with a rider on him several times, and was sent back up to the office several days in a row with obvious signs of colic. I'm told it was decided he was acting naughty to get out of work, despite it being far out of character for this horse to act this way. Nothing was done. By Friday night, when the vet was FINALLY called out, there was nothing they could do. He was put down. A boarder told me she'd seen the vet in tears, been told that if she'd been called out sooner she could've done something.
I was there that Friday evening. Where this horse I'd pinned so many hopes on was in so much pain he was stumbling, faltering, literally falling and having trouble standing again. Keeping my tone as light as I could, because it was a night we were teaching our horse management classes and had students everywhere.
I went home that night with dim hope, only to be told hours later by a friend who'd gone by to check herself that he had to be put down, and was now under a canvas.
He wasn't the first, nor the last of our horses that coliced and died these past few months. We had 2 more pass since him.
And it's infuriating.
Our horses are dying, and going lame–suffering injuries from overwork, because our crop of summers has gone home, and the ones that remain aren't enough to handle the workload needed.
And as employees, we're stuck. And bitter. And scared.
I want to take Goose out of it. He's not fit to be a lesson horse right now, anyway, and as a result he's even less likely to get care if he gets sick. Wish I could take his husband too, but Bandit actually is used in the program, though he's old and frequently injured, and it's unlikely I'd be able to afford him, too.
Fuck...and my CD matures tomorrow, so I will literally have the money to do something stupid for a short time.
This is so fuckin' painful. It's RIGHT FUCKIN' THERE. Goose and Bandit would be a good pair for me to start with, because Goose will be amazing with some time and consistency, and Bandit would be great for me to start my own program with because he is quite solid, and just needs more recovery time...of course, an actual vet check would really decipher that.
Fuck. Actually doing it right, getting a vet to check them both over, getting space and tack for them, that'd wipe out the full $7,000 I'll be pulling, and won't really leave anything to float on for a few months. Fuck. I WANT TO DO THIS STUPID THING. I WANT TO GO AND JUST FIGURE IT OUT ON THE WAY DOWN.
-_- Ugh. I won't. But I might still ask my teacher about how to go about starting a program, so I have more clarity on the process down the line.
-_- I really want Goose. I think he'd be so great, and so easy to get good with the freedom to train him in the way that makes sense. I think he could be a really great Endurance horse for me. I think he has a great mind, and he's so pretty, and I really fear for him. Fuck. I don't actually know if I have enough skill to bring him along. But I wish it wouldn't break everything to try.
The husbands đź’™
(Second picture was taken after Goose orchestrated a jailbreak (opening an unlocked gate) that led half the herd galloping around the property in a merry chase.)