Career Anxiety

Thursday, October 5, 2017 - 10:28 PM

Argh. Freelancing/career pursuit questions! I know I need to focus my efforts. Okay. Let's get to focusing. I should chose one project, do that, and that's it. I can't. I need to do IDM, and it's just...a terrible fucking idea/business decision. But I need to do it for my heart. And therein lies the problem.

Okay. The idea I keep coming back to is to have a project rolling to generate passive income and interest. A comic makes a lot of sense for this. I was planning to do Aura's story, because there are a lot of things I want to say with that story, and it's ready to go, the initial dev is done, the whole story is plotted, and it's ready for production. Comics are faster to make than animations and can be used to demonstrate a different skill set.

But, animation is where my heart lies. It's where my passion is. It makes me scared and happy and terrified, and all those complicated emotions of real love and real risk. Animation is ultimately what I want. If I work on comics, the goal would be to segue to animation in five years. Cuz let's be real, I still kinda suck at animating. But the only way to get better is to do it.

If I work on comics for five years, I'll improve at comics. Some of these skills translate. Some do not. And skills I desperately need to grow will be a good animator will not develop. So there's that.

I guess it comes down to goals, except it doesn't. If the goal is to "make it" to the point where I can support myself, and then do a massive course-correction into animation, the goal is still animation. And also, that's a shitty plan, when I could be learning the things I need now, instead of setting myself up for hoards of catch-up or worse later.

So…IDM and shot animations with a side of illustration? Is that still too spread? Mrf, still kinda back where I was with that, but I do have some scripts that will work well. Gives me a direction to run, anyway!

But then anxiety. Fuck you, anxiety, I do what I want. - Sonic